Fifty Shades of Grey but one lesson now

Everywhere we look right now we see either the Olympics or Fifty Shades of Grey. So I ask myself, what should I focus on for this newsletter? I toss the coin – Fifty shades! The huge bombshell of sales and all the talk about it appeals to my natural human curiosity. I know I shouldn't but I simply have to find out what all the fuss is about.

It could simply be that sex sells, especially fantasies. Just that this time the packaging, timing, excellent marketing and all those things happen to be in place. But that doesn't fully explain the phenomenon, because there is loads of such erotic literature aimed at women. Why didn't A.N. Roqealaure's Sleeping Beauty Trilogy sell millions of copies? It is also about a lovely young girl who is kissed by a prince, raped and then made a sex slave, which is almost identical to 50 Shades.

Maybe we prefer the fantasy version with the decadent, extravagant lifestyle and trappings rather than the disturbing, criminal stories – women tortured in cellars and killed and filmed for pleasure. Or by huge luck, they manage to escape or are rescued. These are the tales of childhood, like Little Red Riding Hood. In my own childhood, I remember my father, a policeman, telling me such tales from real life, in a soft voice, but with the same moral lessons and the same characters- dominants and submissives.

I'm not that keen on reading in English- I prefer my Shakespeare or Yeats in Latvian, after someone else has deciphered and translated it into easy language for me- so I asked my husband to check it out. He read 1.5 pages and put it back. No style, no depth, trashy, he said (though I'm pretty sure I caught him 'double-checking something' a little later..) So I started to read it myself.

And yes, there is simple, direct language and the story is not new. It is again a retelling of Sleeping beauty. And while 50 Shades may not be a literary masterpiece, the symbolism of the tale is interesting. I will just draw attention to how Anastasia took the decision to get into such a 'relationship' (she obviously didn't have the benefit of my father's bedtime stories). She does it under pressure and under the fear of losing something potentially precious. She hopes that he will change (although i wonder why it is that women always hope that their man will change, but men hope their women won't?).

So my HK advice - if you find yourself in a dilemma- personal, professional or practical- and whatever you do (or don't do) doesn't feel right and could have unpleasant consequences,

firstly, don't rush. Decisions taken under pressure or when feeling below par will usually be regretted and there is a very simple physical explanation for this. When we are under huge stress we can lose up to 80 % of blood in the fore-brain, so inevitably the decision-making process is faulty. When we are under acute stress, the loss of blood from our fore-brain causes us to limp directly into a fight-flight-or freeze response. Chronic stress, something that bothers you even for a few days, has the same effect, only over a more drawn-out period.

How do we counteract this? One very simple technique- which is also a natural reaction, see how clever our bodies are!- is to place your fingers over your forehead (on the horns). This draws blood back to your fore-brain. Hold until you feel the pulse beat in your forehead. As we all know, stress can leave us vulnerable to physical illness and this technique can also help to protect us from that. You may also find it beneficial to place your other palm horizontally over the back of your head- the theory is that there are fear reflex points here- for maximum benefits.

And, if you can lessen the stress, fear or anxiety, you will think more clearly. Maybe a different solution or perspective on the problem will come to you. Simply place your fingers on your forehead, but hold a little longer than usual until you feel the blood come back into your fore-brain and the stress disappear.

So good luck, learn something and simply enjoy the moment!

Thank you for reading my Newsletter.

If you found the information relevant and interesting, please share it with others.

Comments, queries or recommendation, please let me know.

If you need more help navigating to healthier living habits, just call me or e-mail me.

How lovely it is to do nothing.. and then to rest afterwards

This is the time to go back to basics. 

Many of us live life at a constantly fast pace. With caffeine, energizers or simply by sheer force of will. 
It is like ‘slapping’ the body all the time to move on and on and on.
We continue slapping our bodies like a jockey might whip a horse during a race. However, for a horse, after the race is finished, a shrewd trainer ensures that it gets a good rest and plenty of relaxation before it races again. 

Not the same with ourselves.  We immediately begin the next race. And then – crash!- at some point we suddenly realize that we don’t feel refreshed, even after a long sleep, or that our sleep is hugely disturbed and we can’t recharge ourselves, or that we are already so tense that rest and relaxation is difficult to achieve.

Before this happens, how can we ensure that it doesn’t happen?

Once, when I was studying biology, a teacher asked us how we distinguish a living system from a non-living system? The fundamental building blocks (chemicals in Periodic Table) are the same in both. 

A living organism - the teacher said - is a ‘system repairing itself on the go.’ Whereas non-living systems can be taken to a garage like a car, stopped completely, dismantled, and then put together while stationary until it is ready to run smoothly again. A living system can’t do that. It must repair itself while the engine and all its parts are running and functioning. And the only way to do it is: to make time for doing nothing. 

Resting.

Because it is only during this time that the body truly recharges, repairs itself, detoxifies.

So how can we help our bodies to recharge, to repair themselves, to take that necessary deep breath and to move on with a fresh start? How do we avoid serious collapse, fatigue and burnout?

1. Simple. By doing nothing at least once a day or, preferably, a few times per day. Try taking at least 5 minutes of absolute rest initially. Just start small, and see how it feels.

2. Or, for maximum benefit, lie down in a semi-supine position (head supported, knees drawn up; or ‘corpse’ yoga pose). You can add little extras – listening to certain types of music e.g. Mozart, baroque music, or Enya will bring your brain rhythms into alpha waves automatically – the state where healing and upgrading takes place. If you don’t feel like listening to music or if it is not appropriate, you can simply place headphones with music playing on your belly –four finger widths below the navel. This is the acupressure point that is most receptive to sound. Thus you bring your body into calm and your mind into alpha waves, and the recharge – boom – happens!

3. If that is not possible because of work circumstances, then just sit quietly and breathe deeply into your belly for a minute or so. Remember, you will perform better at work if you are properly rested.

The optimal amount and time needed for rest can be established for each individual through muscle testing. One client of mine was feeling pressurised at work and struggling to meet certain targets. We tested that if she took 17 minutes sitting down and doing nothing each working day she would quickly start to feel better. And the feedback I received from her was that she didn’t just feel better, she was easily meeting her sales and productivity targets.

Your body will be very grateful to you for giving it regular rest during a day. You will notice that:

-          you can get through more things from your to-do-list with ease (rest increases the speed of your productivity)

-          your sleep during the night will improve

-          you don’t crave sweets or coffee or such (if you did) as much as before.

But more than that – the real value of taking time for rest and doing nothing during day means:

that you are the priority for yourself

You are the most important and valuable asset in the whole to-do-list! Mark it in your daily planner: 2pm-2.10pm – rest. Choose to stop the madness for a moment.

Of course, if you have already hit the point of burn-out and you feel like you cannot rest, or sleep, or recharge anymore, then you will need to consider other options initially – your body will need support in coming back to its normal state - some energy work or therapy might be needed and/or supplements to help the body to get back on track. And then get into the habit of regular rest and relaxation and even, like the wise Spaniard, occasionally doing absolutely nothing and that should do the trick!

Put your hands together - it is good for you!

This month I want to talk to you about stress. For quite a while now “stress” has been one of the most fashionable words around. Like “sexy” or “celebrity”. And sometimes we are inclined to groan or to roll our eyes when we hear people complain about stress. But the fact remains that no matter how balanced we are or how content within our lives we may appear, we still encounter situations that cause us to feel anxious, under pressure or to have hugely stressful thoughts.

As young adults we experience stress when we compare ourselves to our peers and worry about our jobs, our looks, our money and lots of other things. And then at some point as we grow older we all inevitably have to deal with the issue of our mortality - whether it comes in the form of some sickness, or a midlife crisis or just hormonal misbehavior. And we slide into different kinds of stresses and face difficult questions: "Where I am going? What I am doing with my life? Why I am doing this?"

And, of course, these questions are impossible to avoid in the modern world. We are flooded with self-help books promising to solve all our problems or magazines full of simple steps to get whatever we wish for: 3 ways to inner peace, 6 hassle-free food fixes, 21 ways to feel good, 99 steps to happiness, 101 foods for health... To even look at all this abundance of tips can be stressful enough on its own, and that's before you embark on the first of your 21 or 99 steps towards financial freedom or the perfect relationship.

The interesting thing is that all the recommendations are wonderful and have worked for some people. I have no doubt about that! However, as soon as you start to introduce these great advices into your own life, they tend not to bring all the amazing benefits which they claim. Why? Because they are taken out of the context of your unique life and body. As a practitioner of Health Kinesiology I can certify that I encounter a very simple truth on a daily basis – we are all so different that one rule cannot be applied similarly to even just two people!

But, despite all this, I am now going to do exactly the same thing myself. And I'm in good company because I'm following the example of the great German philosopher I.Kant.  Not so many centuries ago Kant refuted 5 established proofs of God’s existence, and then after seeming to deny God's existence,  he proceeded to introduce a 6th Proof which demonstrated that God must existJ! And me too – after all this talk about why the self-help tips which we are bombarded with by the media don’t work, I am coming to you with a wonderful self-help tip, that is universal and can be applied by everyoneJ!!

The Simple Instant Impact action (or call it whatever you wish)

This 4-step action is designed to stop stressful situations  having a negative effect on your body and mind.

This will enable you  to act and make decisions based on clear, stress-free thinking rather than as a response to negative emotions such as fear, anger, grief, guilt etc. In addition, this is a very discreet action which is more or less possible to perform ‘secretly’ when in public. So:

1.      Rate your stress on the 0 to 10 scale – focus on the overall level of stress you are experiencing at that moment.

2.      Place your hands together so that the palms are touching in any position that feels comfortable for you. Focus on the stress you wish to release.

3.      Do Power breathing for 10 seconds – relax your belly, breathe in deeply and slowly so that your lower stomach expands as your lungs fill.

4.      Do deep rapid belly breaths in and out and visualize how the stress leaves your body with each belly constriction.

There is a trick however. You have to remember to do it while in the stressful situation!

So why is this one self-help tip universal?  Well, let's think about that. Why have people throughout the ages been folding their hands together when they pray?

Tradition, you might say.

That’s possible, but there is a reason behind this tradition. This hand position – much fabled and seen through iconic images and in places of spiritual congregation - creates a complete circle within your bio-system. It is not just that there are stress release acupressure points in palms that get activated when you put or press hands together lightly, but by bringing your palms together you also bring your body’s ‘polarities’ together – simply put: the right hand (+) meets the left hand (-), and that creates a neutral space within the whole system. The circle is complete.

As for the benefits of breathing that are included in this tip, maybe some other time. 

Thank you for reading my Newsletter. If you found the information relevant and interesting, please, share it or pass it along to someone else.

If you need more help navigating to healthier living habits, call me or e-mail me. I look forward to working with you!

Put a spring in your step

It is here now - The Sun! The blue skies! - also in Belfast.
The Spring equinox has marked a time of immense change from winter to summer: as we all know, the days lengthen and the nights grow shorter and more sunshine! Wonderful news and yet there are other changes happening within ourselves which we should be aware of.

The high energy of the spring equinox comes with a sudden shift in our energy as well. According to Chinese tradition, during the colder, darker months of winter, our body’s energy moves up our back and then down our front, but at the spring equinox this process is reversed. Our energy now moves up our front and then down our back, which feels much more expansive than the winter circulation. During this time our bodies must work hard and we use this additional energy as a means for clearing toxicity. At this time, our diets can also change and we often feel more drawn to salads or fresh, green vegetables with all their valuable nutrients. So, what else can we do to take advantage of the unique opportunities this time of year has to offer?

Spring is an excellent time to focus on all the good things about ourselves and to start trying to improve our health and fitness at just the time when the whole universe is working with us and supporting our efforts. How about starting your day with some body brushing after getting up? Or a 10 minute dance with your favourite music? It doesn’t have to be strenuous exercise like running or going to the gym.

The hardest thing, however, is simply to take the first step, no matter how small. And after that, finding the courage and the determination to do it regularly. But some positive thoughts can help you to take that crucial first step. So how about just allowing the idea into your mind first? Walk around with it for a few days and let it slowly take root. Nurture it. You may find yourself having to deal with a few objections, so let’s have a look at a few of the most common ones:

-         “I’m too busy, I don’t have the time.”  How about reminding yourself that it is your body which allows you to experience well-being, to work, to play and to consume all the lovely fruits that life has to offer. Why would you not want to find the time to support this body?

-         “I don’t know where to start.” Then why not start doing what you enjoy most? A long walk along the beach, a short cycle by the riverside or even a swing in the park with the kids? And do it for as long or as short as you wish. No hard classes whatsoever.

-         “It’s no use, I don’t believe that I can change anything about my body.” Well, how about considering what you can do and allowing a few more positive thoughts to come into your mind first. “I can do this. I can go for a little walk this evening”. “I could try that”. “I am taking my first steps on my way to becoming more fit”.

-         “I don’t like my body. I never have and I never will.” Remembering that your body is your only real, permanent home can help you to treat it better, to accept it more easily and to support it in whatever way it needs. Just as you would support your own material needs.

-         “I feel so tired. I really don’t want to do anything.” That’s a hard one. Why not start by exercising your willpower?  If you do nothing, your situation can only become worse. Even taking a few tiny steps and only using whatever small amount of energy you have will actually be changing your life for the better. And, if you only allow it, one small change will inevitably lead to another until the snowball effect can slowly begin to take place.

Nurturing an idea for a while allows it to grow and to develop. The idea naturally becomes stronger and it will then be much easier to start whatever action plan seems best for you. And then do it, but do it regularly. Start enjoying the feelings that the results will bring – more energy, greater vitality, better health and, above all that, the sweet feeling of accomplishment – that you did it!

Knocks on my shoulders

I love to be surprised by all the little clues that the universe sends out. Such seemingly random events can be so profound, although sometimes they are also difficult to catch or to grasp fully. And, many times, you just miss them entirely. But when they come not as single spies but in battalions – then you cannot ignore them. You just have to digest them and try to find the right message. This happened to me last week, so I thought I should share my story.

It all started on Thursday when my good friend, Nikki, gave me a DVD- “The Way”, starring Martin Sheen. He plays a Californian ophthalmologist who leaves his busy practice and business friends behind and starts a life-long pilgrimage. The movie was just ok with some nice moments and interesting ideas (although I am not going to watch it a second time).

On Friday my husband had to return a book to the library so I walked in with him. He was browsing the shelves, looking unsuccessfully for something else to read, and there I was – among the books when I noticed a title including the word ‘Ferrari’. I like nice cars, so I pulled out the book and it was Robin Sharma’s  “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari”. I started to read it that very day and, as probably many already know, it is about a superstar lawyer who leaves everything – including his Ferrari! – behind, and starts searching for a new meaning to his life.

Both good and bad things come in threes, as they say. And so, on Saturday, we decided just to relax in the evening and to watch a movie which my husband rented - “The Men Who Stare at Goats”. Which – surprise, surprise – was again about a man who leaves his life behind. This time he goes to Iraq.

But it was only on Sunday morning – on our way to the church where we go once a week now during Lent - when it finally hit me. Three things of a kind in three consecutive days! Somebody must be knocking on my shoulders very, very hard!! Oh, God, I exclaimed – help me to work out what it is that I should understand!!! And – guess what? – he helped.

The gospel of the day told the story of when Jesus threw out all the money-changers from the temple. And there were three words in the sermon which got my total attention – “healthy transformative anger”. That’s it! This is it! The answer. Only where should I turn that anger and what should I leave behind?

A few days later I got an answer also to this question and how best to deal with negative forces. But about that – maybe some other time.