Let's talk about sex, baby...

As promised last month I am going to write about sex. Think of it as my early Christmas gift to you:) Not just because sexual energy is the most powerful energy we have. And also not just because a wonderful client has given me permission to share her story with you. But simply because of the beauty of connectedness that this topic brings.

Case Story

I have a lovely client who, among other things, told me that her anticipation and enjoyment of sex had significantly reduced and that she found she had become quite evasive when her husband showed any physical affection because, who knows – maybe he will want more.. and more. The situation was very stressful, because she wanted to be intimate with her husband, but she simply could feel almost nothing anymore and sex had become a tremendous source of frustration. And she was told that she should simply accept that she was getting older and changes were starting. Maybe.

We decided to look at the issue anyway. Before we started a session, we discussed that maybe the issue is related to changes in her endocrine system (and i have homeopathic vials of quite an amount of different hormones to do corrections), or possibly related to overall stress and simply some invigorating supplement was needed. However – during the session an issue concerning self-realization came up. By further 'investigation' it became clear that she always had to have a lot of people around her whom she could call 'friends' and who loved to be around her, but her private moments were periods of boredom which ended with watching TV. Somewhere along life's road she had lost interest in her own self and no longer enjoyed her own company or took pleasure in private and intimate moments. By working on this issue, we were able to make big improvements in her primary concern.

The “Moral”

So – why am I writing all this right before Christmas? Well, like Christmas, much of the joy of sex comes from the sense of anticipation. And, like London or Christmas, if we are tired of sex we're maybe tired of ourselves or life. But there are easy ways to rekindle that energy and zest for life, Christmas and sex. The beauty of this story (as with many others) is that the solution to problems may lie in completely different areas from where they manifest! Do you think that your hormones are playing tricks with you or slowly dying? Eh, check your life, your attitudes, and take steps to re-charge your life quite literally! If you find it difficult to manage this yourself, there are plenty of simple techniques you can use or people, like myself, who can help.

Health Tip

And my health tip of this month is simple, it's also the first rule of Health Kinesiology – there is always a way! If you cannot get to Rome via one road (somebody in authority has told you that you are getting old or you can't do this and you can't do that), ask yourself “What else is possible? Is there another road to Rome?” Yes, there always is!

I wish you Advent with anticipation and Christmas – full of miracles!

What is better - sex or laughter?

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily. Said Zig Ziglar, American Sales Trainer and Author

Also laughter, like sex, often doesn't last very long, so I recommend doing it as often as you can.

And I thought -  WHICH IS BETTER FOR YOU, SEX OR LAUGHTER?

Well, it's still quite early and the kids haven't gone to bed yet, so let's start with laughter.

Case story
Recently I saw a client who was complaining that she feels cold most of the time. As part of the session I did a 5-element balance with her (a procedure based on the Chinese Law of Five Elements which represent all aspects of the universe and natural cycles of the earth). The 'weakness' showed up in a couple of meridians. However, in order to balance them all she had to laugh happily and with appreciation say out loud “I love myself”. After doing that her whole system was instantly strong and robust. Such a pleasure and benefit in just one go! As a homework for her I “prescribed” (tested) that she should laugh significantly more. She said – but how if there is not so much to laugh about? Do i need to pretend? Well, yes, pretend and force yourself. If your life would depend on that – wouldn't you look out for something to laugh about, even if you have to work hard to find it. She simply was not allowing herself to express joy or was actively suppressing it.

DO 
- Smile consciously: the muscles used when smiling stimulate our autonomic nervous system to release endorphins, opiates and serotonin – hormones that sustain our sense of well-being, optimism and self-esteem. 
- If you hate the idea of forcing a smile, hold a pencil between your teeth for 1 or 2 min a day – that also will activate your smile muscles, leading your heart rate to decrease and causing you to feel happier. 

AND/OR

- Do a quick burst of belly laughter: 2/3 of seratonin – the feel-good hormone - is produced in the gut. So laugh out loud and long.
- If you hate the idea of laughing out loud and expressfully, then massaging your belly will produce similar results. Or exercise your abdominal muscles. I, personally, would choose laughter. 

To help you get started, here's an anecdote I heard from a very sexy young man about a married Belfast couple listening to the radio as the song 'When I Fall in Love' was playing. “Who's that singer?” the husband asks. “Nat King Cole,” his wife replies. “Aye,” says he, “but if it's Nat King Cole, who is it then?” 

Don't miss next month's News letter when I present the case for sex... perhaps :) 

Thank you for reading my Newsletter.
If you found the information relevant and interesting, please share it with others.
Comments, queries or recommendations, please let me know.
SPECIAL WINTER OFFER: Recommend a friend or family member to HkwithDace and get £10 off your next session! Offer lasts till 31.12.2012.

It's the season to get hot and steamy

Autumn is here again- what happened to the Summer?- which means that our old friend, the flu could be just around the corner. Should we be afraid? Well, in the local health centres they are certainly warning us to get our flu vaccines. And who knows – maybe soon some of us will have to endure SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), many will have runny noses, chest infections and so on. Many more will get lucky and have nothing of the kind. But the thing we fear most at this time is the dreaded flu!

I agree – a dose of the flu is about as welcome as a cold shower. Nobody wants that. Nobody wants to get sick. And fear of flu is real and can leave us feeling vulnerable.

So, what do i think about the flu? Well, as a health therapist I would say that catching the flu is a sure sign of good health!

Flu, like many acute illnesses, is in fact a great gift that enables you to clear yourself of any toxic overload. Having a flu from time to time is a sure sign that you are healthy and your body is still able to produce an acute episode –a fever - to combat and release toxicity.

So what does a high temperature do to us? It thins the body fluids which is very important, especially for the efficient movement of lymph in the body, and it allows blood to come to the surface of the skin. Thus a movement is created, especially in stagnant areas, causing the body to sweat and detoxify. I still remember my childhood days when my grandmother or mother (a certified therapeutic nurse) made me put my feet in a hot mustard bath and drink warm tea when i felt below par. This raised the body's temperature, enabling gentle perspiration and that alone did the trick. Next morning I would wake up feeling refreshed, as if I hadn't been unwell. Now I know why. The simplest detoxifying procedure was working its miracles.

However, many people have lost the ability to generate acute illness and fever for a day or two (don't get me wrong – very high or prolonged temperatures need special attention). This indicates that the immune system is suppressed; in other words the immune system is not able to 'express' itself 'openly', so the toxins remain stuck within the body.

I believe that with the reduction of acute illnesses we have also seen a dramatic increase in chronic 'incurable' conditions - 'cold' conditions. People who suffer from chronic illnesses often cannot even remember when they last had some acute episode of fever and sweating. Their bodies are unable to do this anymore, possibly because of suppressive treatments. There is no development more positive in a person with chronic illness than gaining the ability to create an acute illness. The fever of an acute illness burns away some of the chronic load and so begins to unlock new potential.

And yet – I certainly don't want to catch the flu this winter! And I hope you can escape it as well, so here is a simple, basic but very effective tip for you, in addition to good nutrition and regular exercise.

One of the most natural methods of prevention (the best cure) is to regularly artificially raise the body's temperature to create movement in the body and recreate the heat needed to burn off toxicity. It is also beneficial for people who have lost the ability to produce enough heat with their own body to do it should start it very gradually.

How? One of my favorite routines in the dark, cold, wet season is on Monday evenings, while my husband is busy working on his projects, to take a very warm bath (38-40 degrees) to heat myself up and get those fluids running. Sometimes I add Epsom salt or essential oils. In Latvia (and many other northern countries) it is a tradition to take a steam bath or dry bath at least once every week. The immune system will be very grateful.(Please note this does not apply if there is any risk of haemorrhaging, high blood pressure or during pregnancy or menstruation.)

That way the body will either avoid the winter threats or experience reduced symptoms of all these bugs. And yet - if it happens - maybe it is just a sign that we need to take a little time for ourselves and simply do nothing for a few days?

Of course, if you are really concerned about getting the flu, you can get a flu jab (which sometimes may cause the flu) though, personally, I would not- check http://www.naturalnews.com/037302_flu_vaccines_H1N1_infections.html ).

So good luck, learn something and simply enjoy the moment! Even if it rains.
Thank you for reading my Newsletter.
If you found the information relevant and interesting, please share it with others.
Comments, queries or recommendations, please let me know.
If you need more help navigating to healthier living habits, just call me or e-mail me.

Fifty Shades of Grey but one lesson now

Everywhere we look right now we see either the Olympics or Fifty Shades of Grey. So I ask myself, what should I focus on for this newsletter? I toss the coin – Fifty shades! The huge bombshell of sales and all the talk about it appeals to my natural human curiosity. I know I shouldn't but I simply have to find out what all the fuss is about.

It could simply be that sex sells, especially fantasies. Just that this time the packaging, timing, excellent marketing and all those things happen to be in place. But that doesn't fully explain the phenomenon, because there is loads of such erotic literature aimed at women. Why didn't A.N. Roqealaure's Sleeping Beauty Trilogy sell millions of copies? It is also about a lovely young girl who is kissed by a prince, raped and then made a sex slave, which is almost identical to 50 Shades.

Maybe we prefer the fantasy version with the decadent, extravagant lifestyle and trappings rather than the disturbing, criminal stories – women tortured in cellars and killed and filmed for pleasure. Or by huge luck, they manage to escape or are rescued. These are the tales of childhood, like Little Red Riding Hood. In my own childhood, I remember my father, a policeman, telling me such tales from real life, in a soft voice, but with the same moral lessons and the same characters- dominants and submissives.

I'm not that keen on reading in English- I prefer my Shakespeare or Yeats in Latvian, after someone else has deciphered and translated it into easy language for me- so I asked my husband to check it out. He read 1.5 pages and put it back. No style, no depth, trashy, he said (though I'm pretty sure I caught him 'double-checking something' a little later..) So I started to read it myself.

And yes, there is simple, direct language and the story is not new. It is again a retelling of Sleeping beauty. And while 50 Shades may not be a literary masterpiece, the symbolism of the tale is interesting. I will just draw attention to how Anastasia took the decision to get into such a 'relationship' (she obviously didn't have the benefit of my father's bedtime stories). She does it under pressure and under the fear of losing something potentially precious. She hopes that he will change (although i wonder why it is that women always hope that their man will change, but men hope their women won't?).

So my HK advice - if you find yourself in a dilemma- personal, professional or practical- and whatever you do (or don't do) doesn't feel right and could have unpleasant consequences,

firstly, don't rush. Decisions taken under pressure or when feeling below par will usually be regretted and there is a very simple physical explanation for this. When we are under huge stress we can lose up to 80 % of blood in the fore-brain, so inevitably the decision-making process is faulty. When we are under acute stress, the loss of blood from our fore-brain causes us to limp directly into a fight-flight-or freeze response. Chronic stress, something that bothers you even for a few days, has the same effect, only over a more drawn-out period.

How do we counteract this? One very simple technique- which is also a natural reaction, see how clever our bodies are!- is to place your fingers over your forehead (on the horns). This draws blood back to your fore-brain. Hold until you feel the pulse beat in your forehead. As we all know, stress can leave us vulnerable to physical illness and this technique can also help to protect us from that. You may also find it beneficial to place your other palm horizontally over the back of your head- the theory is that there are fear reflex points here- for maximum benefits.

And, if you can lessen the stress, fear or anxiety, you will think more clearly. Maybe a different solution or perspective on the problem will come to you. Simply place your fingers on your forehead, but hold a little longer than usual until you feel the blood come back into your fore-brain and the stress disappear.

So good luck, learn something and simply enjoy the moment!

Thank you for reading my Newsletter.

If you found the information relevant and interesting, please share it with others.

Comments, queries or recommendation, please let me know.

If you need more help navigating to healthier living habits, just call me or e-mail me.

How lovely it is to do nothing.. and then to rest afterwards

This is the time to go back to basics. 

Many of us live life at a constantly fast pace. With caffeine, energizers or simply by sheer force of will. 
It is like ‘slapping’ the body all the time to move on and on and on.
We continue slapping our bodies like a jockey might whip a horse during a race. However, for a horse, after the race is finished, a shrewd trainer ensures that it gets a good rest and plenty of relaxation before it races again. 

Not the same with ourselves.  We immediately begin the next race. And then – crash!- at some point we suddenly realize that we don’t feel refreshed, even after a long sleep, or that our sleep is hugely disturbed and we can’t recharge ourselves, or that we are already so tense that rest and relaxation is difficult to achieve.

Before this happens, how can we ensure that it doesn’t happen?

Once, when I was studying biology, a teacher asked us how we distinguish a living system from a non-living system? The fundamental building blocks (chemicals in Periodic Table) are the same in both. 

A living organism - the teacher said - is a ‘system repairing itself on the go.’ Whereas non-living systems can be taken to a garage like a car, stopped completely, dismantled, and then put together while stationary until it is ready to run smoothly again. A living system can’t do that. It must repair itself while the engine and all its parts are running and functioning. And the only way to do it is: to make time for doing nothing. 

Resting.

Because it is only during this time that the body truly recharges, repairs itself, detoxifies.

So how can we help our bodies to recharge, to repair themselves, to take that necessary deep breath and to move on with a fresh start? How do we avoid serious collapse, fatigue and burnout?

1. Simple. By doing nothing at least once a day or, preferably, a few times per day. Try taking at least 5 minutes of absolute rest initially. Just start small, and see how it feels.

2. Or, for maximum benefit, lie down in a semi-supine position (head supported, knees drawn up; or ‘corpse’ yoga pose). You can add little extras – listening to certain types of music e.g. Mozart, baroque music, or Enya will bring your brain rhythms into alpha waves automatically – the state where healing and upgrading takes place. If you don’t feel like listening to music or if it is not appropriate, you can simply place headphones with music playing on your belly –four finger widths below the navel. This is the acupressure point that is most receptive to sound. Thus you bring your body into calm and your mind into alpha waves, and the recharge – boom – happens!

3. If that is not possible because of work circumstances, then just sit quietly and breathe deeply into your belly for a minute or so. Remember, you will perform better at work if you are properly rested.

The optimal amount and time needed for rest can be established for each individual through muscle testing. One client of mine was feeling pressurised at work and struggling to meet certain targets. We tested that if she took 17 minutes sitting down and doing nothing each working day she would quickly start to feel better. And the feedback I received from her was that she didn’t just feel better, she was easily meeting her sales and productivity targets.

Your body will be very grateful to you for giving it regular rest during a day. You will notice that:

-          you can get through more things from your to-do-list with ease (rest increases the speed of your productivity)

-          your sleep during the night will improve

-          you don’t crave sweets or coffee or such (if you did) as much as before.

But more than that – the real value of taking time for rest and doing nothing during day means:

that you are the priority for yourself

You are the most important and valuable asset in the whole to-do-list! Mark it in your daily planner: 2pm-2.10pm – rest. Choose to stop the madness for a moment.

Of course, if you have already hit the point of burn-out and you feel like you cannot rest, or sleep, or recharge anymore, then you will need to consider other options initially – your body will need support in coming back to its normal state - some energy work or therapy might be needed and/or supplements to help the body to get back on track. And then get into the habit of regular rest and relaxation and even, like the wise Spaniard, occasionally doing absolutely nothing and that should do the trick!

Put your hands together - it is good for you!

This month I want to talk to you about stress. For quite a while now “stress” has been one of the most fashionable words around. Like “sexy” or “celebrity”. And sometimes we are inclined to groan or to roll our eyes when we hear people complain about stress. But the fact remains that no matter how balanced we are or how content within our lives we may appear, we still encounter situations that cause us to feel anxious, under pressure or to have hugely stressful thoughts.

As young adults we experience stress when we compare ourselves to our peers and worry about our jobs, our looks, our money and lots of other things. And then at some point as we grow older we all inevitably have to deal with the issue of our mortality - whether it comes in the form of some sickness, or a midlife crisis or just hormonal misbehavior. And we slide into different kinds of stresses and face difficult questions: "Where I am going? What I am doing with my life? Why I am doing this?"

And, of course, these questions are impossible to avoid in the modern world. We are flooded with self-help books promising to solve all our problems or magazines full of simple steps to get whatever we wish for: 3 ways to inner peace, 6 hassle-free food fixes, 21 ways to feel good, 99 steps to happiness, 101 foods for health... To even look at all this abundance of tips can be stressful enough on its own, and that's before you embark on the first of your 21 or 99 steps towards financial freedom or the perfect relationship.

The interesting thing is that all the recommendations are wonderful and have worked for some people. I have no doubt about that! However, as soon as you start to introduce these great advices into your own life, they tend not to bring all the amazing benefits which they claim. Why? Because they are taken out of the context of your unique life and body. As a practitioner of Health Kinesiology I can certify that I encounter a very simple truth on a daily basis – we are all so different that one rule cannot be applied similarly to even just two people!

But, despite all this, I am now going to do exactly the same thing myself. And I'm in good company because I'm following the example of the great German philosopher I.Kant.  Not so many centuries ago Kant refuted 5 established proofs of God’s existence, and then after seeming to deny God's existence,  he proceeded to introduce a 6th Proof which demonstrated that God must existJ! And me too – after all this talk about why the self-help tips which we are bombarded with by the media don’t work, I am coming to you with a wonderful self-help tip, that is universal and can be applied by everyoneJ!!

The Simple Instant Impact action (or call it whatever you wish)

This 4-step action is designed to stop stressful situations  having a negative effect on your body and mind.

This will enable you  to act and make decisions based on clear, stress-free thinking rather than as a response to negative emotions such as fear, anger, grief, guilt etc. In addition, this is a very discreet action which is more or less possible to perform ‘secretly’ when in public. So:

1.      Rate your stress on the 0 to 10 scale – focus on the overall level of stress you are experiencing at that moment.

2.      Place your hands together so that the palms are touching in any position that feels comfortable for you. Focus on the stress you wish to release.

3.      Do Power breathing for 10 seconds – relax your belly, breathe in deeply and slowly so that your lower stomach expands as your lungs fill.

4.      Do deep rapid belly breaths in and out and visualize how the stress leaves your body with each belly constriction.

There is a trick however. You have to remember to do it while in the stressful situation!

So why is this one self-help tip universal?  Well, let's think about that. Why have people throughout the ages been folding their hands together when they pray?

Tradition, you might say.

That’s possible, but there is a reason behind this tradition. This hand position – much fabled and seen through iconic images and in places of spiritual congregation - creates a complete circle within your bio-system. It is not just that there are stress release acupressure points in palms that get activated when you put or press hands together lightly, but by bringing your palms together you also bring your body’s ‘polarities’ together – simply put: the right hand (+) meets the left hand (-), and that creates a neutral space within the whole system. The circle is complete.

As for the benefits of breathing that are included in this tip, maybe some other time. 

Thank you for reading my Newsletter. If you found the information relevant and interesting, please, share it or pass it along to someone else.

If you need more help navigating to healthier living habits, call me or e-mail me. I look forward to working with you!

Put a spring in your step

It is here now - The Sun! The blue skies! - also in Belfast.
The Spring equinox has marked a time of immense change from winter to summer: as we all know, the days lengthen and the nights grow shorter and more sunshine! Wonderful news and yet there are other changes happening within ourselves which we should be aware of.

The high energy of the spring equinox comes with a sudden shift in our energy as well. According to Chinese tradition, during the colder, darker months of winter, our body’s energy moves up our back and then down our front, but at the spring equinox this process is reversed. Our energy now moves up our front and then down our back, which feels much more expansive than the winter circulation. During this time our bodies must work hard and we use this additional energy as a means for clearing toxicity. At this time, our diets can also change and we often feel more drawn to salads or fresh, green vegetables with all their valuable nutrients. So, what else can we do to take advantage of the unique opportunities this time of year has to offer?

Spring is an excellent time to focus on all the good things about ourselves and to start trying to improve our health and fitness at just the time when the whole universe is working with us and supporting our efforts. How about starting your day with some body brushing after getting up? Or a 10 minute dance with your favourite music? It doesn’t have to be strenuous exercise like running or going to the gym.

The hardest thing, however, is simply to take the first step, no matter how small. And after that, finding the courage and the determination to do it regularly. But some positive thoughts can help you to take that crucial first step. So how about just allowing the idea into your mind first? Walk around with it for a few days and let it slowly take root. Nurture it. You may find yourself having to deal with a few objections, so let’s have a look at a few of the most common ones:

-         “I’m too busy, I don’t have the time.”  How about reminding yourself that it is your body which allows you to experience well-being, to work, to play and to consume all the lovely fruits that life has to offer. Why would you not want to find the time to support this body?

-         “I don’t know where to start.” Then why not start doing what you enjoy most? A long walk along the beach, a short cycle by the riverside or even a swing in the park with the kids? And do it for as long or as short as you wish. No hard classes whatsoever.

-         “It’s no use, I don’t believe that I can change anything about my body.” Well, how about considering what you can do and allowing a few more positive thoughts to come into your mind first. “I can do this. I can go for a little walk this evening”. “I could try that”. “I am taking my first steps on my way to becoming more fit”.

-         “I don’t like my body. I never have and I never will.” Remembering that your body is your only real, permanent home can help you to treat it better, to accept it more easily and to support it in whatever way it needs. Just as you would support your own material needs.

-         “I feel so tired. I really don’t want to do anything.” That’s a hard one. Why not start by exercising your willpower?  If you do nothing, your situation can only become worse. Even taking a few tiny steps and only using whatever small amount of energy you have will actually be changing your life for the better. And, if you only allow it, one small change will inevitably lead to another until the snowball effect can slowly begin to take place.

Nurturing an idea for a while allows it to grow and to develop. The idea naturally becomes stronger and it will then be much easier to start whatever action plan seems best for you. And then do it, but do it regularly. Start enjoying the feelings that the results will bring – more energy, greater vitality, better health and, above all that, the sweet feeling of accomplishment – that you did it!

Knocks on my shoulders

I love to be surprised by all the little clues that the universe sends out. Such seemingly random events can be so profound, although sometimes they are also difficult to catch or to grasp fully. And, many times, you just miss them entirely. But when they come not as single spies but in battalions – then you cannot ignore them. You just have to digest them and try to find the right message. This happened to me last week, so I thought I should share my story.

It all started on Thursday when my good friend, Nikki, gave me a DVD- “The Way”, starring Martin Sheen. He plays a Californian ophthalmologist who leaves his busy practice and business friends behind and starts a life-long pilgrimage. The movie was just ok with some nice moments and interesting ideas (although I am not going to watch it a second time).

On Friday my husband had to return a book to the library so I walked in with him. He was browsing the shelves, looking unsuccessfully for something else to read, and there I was – among the books when I noticed a title including the word ‘Ferrari’. I like nice cars, so I pulled out the book and it was Robin Sharma’s  “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari”. I started to read it that very day and, as probably many already know, it is about a superstar lawyer who leaves everything – including his Ferrari! – behind, and starts searching for a new meaning to his life.

Both good and bad things come in threes, as they say. And so, on Saturday, we decided just to relax in the evening and to watch a movie which my husband rented - “The Men Who Stare at Goats”. Which – surprise, surprise – was again about a man who leaves his life behind. This time he goes to Iraq.

But it was only on Sunday morning – on our way to the church where we go once a week now during Lent - when it finally hit me. Three things of a kind in three consecutive days! Somebody must be knocking on my shoulders very, very hard!! Oh, God, I exclaimed – help me to work out what it is that I should understand!!! And – guess what? – he helped.

The gospel of the day told the story of when Jesus threw out all the money-changers from the temple. And there were three words in the sermon which got my total attention – “healthy transformative anger”. That’s it! This is it! The answer. Only where should I turn that anger and what should I leave behind?

A few days later I got an answer also to this question and how best to deal with negative forces. But about that – maybe some other time.